Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
My ATM looks so different sober.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
