He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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