How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize