Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
