Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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