Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
