I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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