I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
