i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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