I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
