Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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