Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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