Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
