Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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