Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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