Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Randomize
