just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
