This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
