Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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