I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
