Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Randomize
