Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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