talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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