WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
