My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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