The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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