I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She tied me up with her honor cords...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
