and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
