i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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