I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
