woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
