you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
