Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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