he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
