so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
