Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
