Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize