Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
