last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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