Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
