so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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