you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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