Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
