Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
