i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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