waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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