Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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