Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
