No awkward lesbian experiences without me
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Dear god my vagina.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
