Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
