I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
