so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
