Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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