I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
