after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
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