Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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