I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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