Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
