lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
