what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
