I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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